shouldnt have had that second cupcake i moaned as i reached for my ninth
THE LITTLE KID NEXT DOOR JSUT OPENED HIS WINDOW AND YELLED “WHAT IS 27 PLUS 4” AND I YELLED “IT’S 31” AND HE SAID “THANK YOU GOD LADY” IM LAUGIHNG
heres a fun fact that shows a lot about me: im pretty allergic to bananas but didn’t know it at all growing up until one day when i was like 17 i was like “man, i love bananas. theyre always so tangy and make ur mouth all tingly” and my friend was like “thats. definitely not what a banana is supposed to be like” one doctors trip later, turns out im allergic to bananas.
WHEN BOYS WEAR BUTTON UPS BUT ROLL THE SLEEVES TO THEIR ELBOWS
*Ponders the meaning of life at the Taco Bell*
Getting blazed and devouring Taco 12 Packs with Baylor fam (aka “hate club”)
"hey do you wanna get food, i’ll pay"